Thursday, February 28, 2008

Oklahoma King



Stacey King had his number 33 retired by the Oklahoma Sooners. While at Oklahoma, King led the Sooners to the 1988 National Championship by averaging 26 ppg and 10 rpg.

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Best in the Business



This one is for all the kids out there. This is the classic give-n-go perfected by Steve Kerr and Bill Wennington. No one was able to stop it. Wennington used to average over 35 ppg and Kerr averaged over 15 apg because of this play back in 1995. The Bulls need to bring it back with Hinrich and Gooden.

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Former Bull PJ Brown Signs With Celtics



Former Chicago Bull, PJ Brown, reportdely signed a deal with the Boston Celtics. Sorry for the Celtics, but even though he is a good guy, PJ BROWN SUCKS! He is worthless, slow, and occasionally hits a jumper. He is well known for making the goofiest faces in the NBA.

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Andres Nocioni Is Rocky



After much research, I have came to the conclusion that Andres Nocioni was Sylvester Stallone's body double in all of the Rocky movies. I have provided a clip to showcase Noce's talents.

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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Bulls sign J-Mac


In an attempt to find a consistent outside shooter, Jason McElwain, also known as "J-Mac," has been signed to a 3 year, 15 million dollar contract by the Chicago Bulls. McElwain, known for being the autistic kid who got hard and started raining threes in a high school game in 2006, has had the interest of Bulls management for quite sometime. "Jason just has a great stroke," said GM John Paxson during a conference call on Tuesday. "We felt he could add another dimension to our team, rather than just having Larry Hughes and Ben Gordon jack up bricks all game, here we have an established shooter that hopefully can help us down the stretch." When grilled by reporters about picking up an unproven autistic person on an NBA squad, Paxson fired back. "We've had Andres Nocioni on the roster for years, and no one has said anything. We don't discriminate in this organization. Wait, he's not really retarded? Wow, could've fooled me." Full coverage of this story as it unfolds only on www.bullsweekly.com.

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New Bulls Weekly Podcast



Check out the latest episode of our Bulls Weekly Podcast. The link is on the right hand side.

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Bulls Fan Of The Week



Here is this weeks Bulls Fan Of the Week!! Congratulations To Scott and Mikey for submitting this great photo. If you want to be considered the Bulls Fan Of The Week, send your pictures to bullsweekly@gmail.com. Good Luck.

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Greatest Sports Story of All-Time Thanks Benny

Picture from Wordpress.com
Jugs in picture from LuvabullswithhugeJUGZ.com
"CHICAGO -- A Chicago Bulls mascot dressed in a bright red costume was charged with attacking an off-duty officer after driving a mini-motorcycle through an outdoor festival.

Barry Anderson, the Bennie the Bull mascot, is accused of throwing a punch at an off-duty police officer, knocking off his glasses and breaking his watch.
Barry Anderson, the Benny the Bull mascot, was charged with misdemeanor battery and driving within a parkway. The 26-year-old man is accused of throwing a punch at the sheriff's deputy, knocking off his glasses and breaking his watch.
Anderson was riding the motorcycle through the festival without a permit Sunday, Police Capt. James Knightly said. When the off-duty officer, who was working security, tried to stop him, Anderson ran, police said. The officer chased and caught him.
"It would be premature to make any comment at this point until all the information is gathered," Bulls spokesman Tim Hallam said.
Veronica Resa, a spokeswoman with the Mayor's Office of Special Events, said Anderson was entertaining people at the Taste of Chicago festival.
"We always love working with the Chicago Bulls and we know that what happened was not their fault," Resa said.
Anderson's costume was returned to the United Center after his arrest, police said.
In 2005, another Bulls mascot, Da Bull, was sentenced to probation for 1½ years for possession of cannabis with intent to deliver. "




I know this is very old news, but this story is too great not to be on http://www.bullsweekly.com/, i mean seriously he ran away... into the crowd at the taste of Chicago? I mean 1) did he think he was fast enough to get away? 2) did he think he was going to blend into the crowd??? hahaha man Benny must have been watching too many of the Jason Bourne Movies

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Mavs' Dirk gets Hard

Photo from commercialappeal.com

The Bulls were outplayed and overmatched by the Dallas Mavericks last night. Mavs forward Dirk Nowitzki had a game high 29 Points to go along with 10 rebounds as the Mavericks took care of the Bulls 102-94. On a side note Drew Gooden and Larry Hughes were 11-26 from the field and they both played eh, okay at best. Gooden had a nice forth quarter. Although I did vote "Love it" on the http://www.bullsweekly.com/ poll for the Cavs-Bulls-Sonics trade and I still do. I thought the point of the trade was to develope Tyrus and Noah. Tyrus (28min) and Noah (18min) played 24 minutes less then the Hughes(32min) and Gooden (38min) combo and Tyrus and Noah took 14 less shots. If we are going to lose, lets do it developing Tyrus and Noah, not these average selfish NBA players. I also don't like how Gooden and Hughes just come in and get mad run. Don't get me wrong I like both these players, but they've done nothing to earn "Bulls" playing time over Noce, Noah, Tyrus, and Thabo who have been playing their heart out all year. Stop handing these new guys playing time and make them earn it like everyone else.

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Sunday, February 24, 2008

Thomas Gardner Dunks On Yi



Thomas Gardner should still be a Chicago Bull. The proof is in the pudding. He dunked on Yi. It wasn't just your average dunk, it was a swing on the jungle jim. O well, maybe sometime in the future Thomas Gardner will be featured in the "Where Are They Now"

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Gooden Spunks on Yao

Drew Gooden Dunks on Yao Ming



Drew Gooden has this monster dunk on Yao Ming, in his Bulls Debute. Stacy King said that Gooden "Bearded" Yao on this play, and I may have to agree. I hope he doesn't have crabs in that beard...

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Rockets Heat Up, Beat Bulls


Photo by Bill Baptist/NBAE via Getty Images

The Houston Rockets heated up down the stretch and made every three to go on to win their franchise best 12th game in a row. While the game was close through the first 3 quarters Houston pulled away late in the third. The Bulls once again showed that they are going to fast break. The energy in the beginning reminded me of the Nuggets game. The new guys played well even though they didn't get to practice with the team. In Drew Gooden and Larry Hughes' debut they scored 12 points, 8 rebounds, and 13 points, 2 assists respectively. Drew Gooden did have a monster two handed slam over Yao.The team shot the ball well, but didn't play good perimeter defense which led to open shots. Tyrus Thomas had a solid game once again with 18 points 6 rebounds and 5 assists. The Bulls travel to Dallas to play the new look Mavs tomorrow night.

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Saturday, February 23, 2008

Sign Up For The Bulls Weekly Forum!!!




Be Sure to sign up for the Bulls Weekly Forum. The forum has just started, but we are going to try to make the forum the best Chicago Bulls forum in the nation. Lets GO BULLS!!!!!

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Noch = Poster

You have to love Noch if you are a Bulls fan. He brings much needed intensity and toughness to the Bulls. Whether he is knocking down three's or stepping in for the charge, you have to respect his work ethic on the court. However, the only thing more probable during a Bulls game than Ben Gordon over-dribbling is Noch getting absolutely posterized by a huge dunk. Noch is responsible for more posters than Pamela Anderson, Jenna Jameson, and the Beatles combined. Here are some of the best facials that Noch has received....and yes that last one was Kwame Brown.





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Chicago Bulls: Where Are They Now?



This feature of "Where are they now?" feautes Khalid El-Amin. He was a member of the 1999 UConn men's basketball team that won the NCAA championship. He is originally from Minnesota where he played for North High School in Minneapolis. In 2000, he was selected in the 2nd round by the Chicago Bulls of the NBA Draft and played 50 games for them, averaging 6.3 points and 2.9 assists per game. I remember in 2000 in the Rookie-Sophomore challenge Khalid decided to kill. He had 18 points in that game.

Now after a sub par NBA stint, he is now a celebrity overseas. El-Amin currently plays for Türk Telekom B.K. of the Turkish basketball league. He has also played in the CBA and the Ukrainen Basketball League. He joined Besiktas Istanbul of the Turkish league in August 2003. Dominating the league for two seasons, El-Amin was second in scoring (20.9) and third in assists (5.2) in his first season. In 2005, he led the league in assists and averaged 20.4 points a game. He was named MVP of the Turkish League All-Star Game in 2005 and was a member of the World Team at the 2005 FIBA Europe All-Star Game.

Khalid El-Amin a MVP. Nuff Said. Peace

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Bulls Have Energy For 48 Minutes


Photo: Charles Cherney, Chicago Tribune

The Chicago Bulls last night against the Denver Nuggets almost made me cry. They came out with so much energy. I don't think they played like this all year. It seemeed like they had so much fun out there. I truly believe Ben Wallace was bringing that locker room down. There were 7 Bulls in double figures. Ben Gordon was killing because he knows that Larry Hughes is coming for the number one spot, so his wrist doesn't hurt no more. Joakim had a solid game, better than any game Wallace had this year. Tyrus did NOT miss a jumper. Tyrus had a great block on Carmelo, but Carmelo literally took a crap on him when he dunked on Tyrus. Kirk may have had his best game this year with 14 assists. Overall I was so impressed and pumped. Hopefully they can continue this kind of play the rest of the season.

Some Off The Wall Notes

The new Bulls numbers: Hughes will wear No. 32, Gooden No. 90, Shannon Brown No. 6 and Cedric Simmons No. 15. … Gooden has a $20,000 bet with Wizards guard DeShawn Stevenson over who will cut his beard first. Told that former college teammate Hinrich mocked its length, Gooden fired off this classic: "My goal is for him to try to grow a beard." … Even out of town, traded center Ben Wallace spoke no ill toward the Bulls. "The organization was good to me," Wallace said in Cleveland. "I was doing things I wasn't doing in Detroit, and it was a little bit of a struggle." (ChicagoSports)

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Friday, February 22, 2008

Do Work Son



Sam Ranzulla loves waking up and going to work in the morning. He is the official valet of the Bulls. When Bulls players arrive to the United Center, Razulla will personally park each player's car in their favorite parking spaces. He gets to ride in Chargers, Phantoms, Escalades, Bentleys, and Hummers everyday. But, with this awesome job, comes some pranks. Former Bulls player, Adrian Griffin, used to crop dust Ranzulla everytime he would get out of his car. Ranzulla would have to sit in Griffin's murdered-out Ford Pinto and hold his breath because of the horrible stench. Also, Chris Duhon would purposely pull up to the United Center in his Rolls Royce Phantom almost out of gas. So Ranzulla would have go to the nearest gas station and fill up Duhon's ride. Everyday, Ranzulla goes to the United Center and does work that always goes unnoticed!

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Ron Harper Get Drunk

Drunk Ron Harper celebrates the Chicago Bulls' 4th championship in 1996. I know Ron Harper has a speech problem, but I guess when he gets drunk his speech corrects itself. Watch this clip, it's an all time classic interview."I ain't going to no damn Disney Land" HHAHHAHA

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The Dunkin Doughnuts Race


The most dramatic thing in the United Center these days is the Dunkin Doughnuts race. I love this race because if I win I can get a free coffee, bagel, or doughnut. You can't beat that. During this race, the crowd is at it's loudest in the whole game. Sad.

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The Drew Doo


We just got rid of Ben Wallace, who was known for his wild hair. Now we have Drew Gooden. I'll let the video do the talking.

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The New Chicago Bulls



The trade deadline has passed, and people wonder what the new Bulls will be like. If I was the coach of the Chicago Bulls I would do the lineups like so: PG Kirk Hinrich SG Larry Hughes SF Luol Deng PF Drew Gooden C Joakim Noah. I would have Ben Gordon come of the bench as well as Thabo, Tyrus and Nocioni. Larry Hughes has never played more than 73 games in a season, but if he stays healthy the rest of the year he really can be something. I think the reason why he did terrible in Cleveland because Lebron and Hughes' styles clashed. Now Kirk can relax and guard the point guards and Hughes will guard the 2. Hinrich is reunited with former Kansas teammate Drew Gooden. This team has the potential of making a playoff run, especially with Drew Gooden, because has somewhat a decent game down low. So stay tuned.

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Mike Soakin Wet


Even Mike likes to let the grey GOOSE LOOSE every once in awhile.. I wonder if Jaunita was here too? yeah right

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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Bulls Bring in Bunny with Ears, Tree, and a Hole

During his press conference yesterday, Paxson discussed the 11 player trade and the Bulls NEW plans to bring in a shoe tying consultant for Aaron Gray. Paxson said "Well Aaron's had a re-occuring problem with losing his shoes during games and tying his laces all season... At this point in time, we felt it was worth the $200,000 investment to bring in the worlds best shoe tying consultant, and nip Aarons problem in the ass before it happens for a 3RD time this year. We just think it's important for Aaron to avoid any further embarrassment." The shoe consultant is said to be equiped with a Bunny with two ears, a tree, and a hole. When asked about the problem Gray was quoted as saying he couldn't see his shoes to tie the laces because his cock is too big and he can't see around it...

I mean seriously Aaron it's easy....Make two bunny ears. The bunny runs around the tree. The bunny jumps in a hole. Close it up tight! Fuckin A, and people wonder why no white guys are in the league

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The Ben Failure Project



Wallace averaged 6.4 points and 10.7 rebounds a game in his first season in Chicago. Both of those averages dropped -- 5.1 and 8.8, respectively -- this season. Wow, Thank You Mr. Wallace for pissing all of us Bulls fans off. Go ahead you can start trying for the Cavs now because that's how it goes in the NBA. You really wasted our money, but now we have the opportunity to let our young guys play. I hope our young guys do sick and make a great playoff push and make you look like the gum on the bottom of my shoe. Thanks for wasting Reinsdorf's money. Thanks for wearing a head band when you couldn't. Thanks for shooting all those fade away's that made a lot of sense. Thanks for being a lame. I would like to welcome Drew Gooden and Larry Hughes to the Bulls. Mr. Hughes I know that you didn't want to be in Cleveland. If the Bulls play you please try to play at the level you did when you were on the Wizards, Thanks. Mr. Gooden, please grow back that Samurai patch on the back of your head. It really would complement your beard. The bad news for you Drew is that you can't wear a headband.

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Bulls Gain Drew Gooden and Larry Hughes in Trade

Picture from viewimages.com

The Chicago Bulls made a great multi-player three team deal with the Cleveland Cavs and Seattle Supersonics before todays trading deadline... The Bulls traded away Busted Ben Wallace and the overachieving Average Joe Smith, who had become a Chicago Bulls fan favorite...for the still somewhat young Cleveland talent of Drew Gooden. Gooden will provide the decent post up threat, that the Bulls had been looking for. The Bulls also gained the very athletic services of Larry Hughes (22-6-5 in 04-05). Let me tell you how excited I am to see the Kansas connection of Kirk Hinrich and Drew Gooden once again. Bullsweekly.com was also the first blog to release this trade information... good work team. This trade looks like a BIG win for the Bulls, who couldn't have had much plans in the future for the aging services of Ben Wallace and Joe Smith. Ben Wallace, Wally Szczberbiak, and Joe Smith will now join the leagues most dominant player Lebron James. While Ira Newble and Adrian Griffin head to Seattle.
John Paxson is so damn sneaky
Can we get Larry Brown now?

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Bulls acquire Larry Hughes?


My sources tell me that the Bulls have traded Chris Duhon and Ben Wallace to the Cleveland Cavaliers for Larry Hughes. This is not confirmed, but highly suspected at this point. I'm torn if this is true. On one hand, you get rid of the awful contract of Ben Wallace. On the other hand, you take the equally awful contract of Larry Hughes, along with his 37% field goal percentage. And to anyone who thinks Hughes is a decent player, I direct you towards this -

Hey Larry Hughes, Please Stop Taking So Many Bad Shots

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Bulls Weekly Podcast



Bulls Weekly has created a podcast and we have published our first episode. Some of the topics covered: First half assessment of the Chicago Bulls players, and possible trades before the deadline. Click HERE to download the podcast.

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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Getting to the bottom of Benny





If any of you Bulls fans out there have attended a game at the UC within the last few years... you've probably taken close notice to Benny the Bulls gimmick of hitting backwords one handed half court shots all the time, i mean just raining bombs... I mean benny does not miss, he hits like 6 out of 10 and the other 4 are right there... which got me to thinking... why doesn't he just play if he's that good... after close and intense research I have uncovered Benny the Bulls secret... take a look for yourself...

The man behind the face is none other than Bulls 3 points sharpshooting legend Jud Buechler... Just another great piece of investigative research by our Bullsweekly.com staff... Keep up the good work guys...

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Monday, February 18, 2008

Are The Bulls Trading Before The Deadline?



It's no secret that Ben Wallace is available, less than two years after Chicago made him their big catch of 2006. But unless the Bulls are willing to attach Luol Deng, Ben Gordon, Tyrus Thomas or Joakim Noah to a Wallace trade, it looks unlikely that they'll be able to move him.

The player I think will get traded is Chris Duhon. The reason why is, he is in the last year of his deal, and the emergence of Thabo has made him the future.

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Saturday, February 16, 2008

Jason Kidd's Son



Did anyone notice Jason Kidd's son? I did. He has a mustache at age 10. How does he pull that off? It seemed like Jason Kidd's son was everywhere the camera was. He also appeared as tall as Chris Paul. HHAAH.

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Dwight Howard is Super Man



What a show Dwight Howard put on tonight. He took creativity to another level. The birthday cake dunk by Gerald Green was creative, but it was Dwight Howard's night tonight. He even slapped the ball of the glass than dunked it, truly amazing.

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Bulls Sign Terrell Owens


The Chicago Bulls report that they signed Terrell Owens to a 15 day contract after last night's performance in the celebrity game. The Bulls scout team was on hand and witnessed a dynamic offensive display. T.O. took it to the rack and shot the jumper. No word if Deon Sanders received a deal.

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New Air Jordan XX3 Commercial - Become Legendary


There are several commercials out there by Jordan, and they are some solid commercials. They got me motivated. Check out the vids.

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Friday, February 15, 2008

Thabo Get's An Audition



Last night Hollywood must of been watching. Thabo Sefolosha has received an audition for the new predator movie. A spokesman for the movie said; "I was watching the game last night, and I notice Thabo's braids. He would make a great predator, and we wouldn't have to use any make up." No word if Thabo will audition for this role, but it surely seems that he has it on lock. In the picture above Thabo practices his Predator technique if he was in the jungle.

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Thursday, February 14, 2008

Big Ben Lands Endorsement


Becoming the league's softest player has finally landed Wallace a lucrative payday... Ben Wallace signed a tentative deal with a Tampon company to become their spokesmen for their 2008 summer campaign... the deal is pending the one time badboy Wallace being soft for the rest of the year...

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Triple Double-Double


Yes you heard correctly... The Bulls tandom of Thabo, Joe Smith, and Tyrus pulled off the unique triple double-double... what is this? 3 players all with 10+ points, 10+ rebounds... IN THE SAME GAME (Smith 19-11, Thabo 17-12, Tyrus 10-12) With boards like that whats the point of Ben Wallace... really?????... The Bulls took down the Miami Heat tonight 99-92, in a game when everything went right, except that last missed Thabo free-throw for free BIG MACS for the UC in attendance...

A nice win against the new look Miami Heat going into All-Star Weekend... The big story of the night may have been the great play of Captain Kirk (Who seems to finally be shedding the Craptain Kirk nickname from his slow start to the season). Kirk was 10-18 from the field and finished with a 24-7-4 line in only 33 minutes... not a bad night... I'm sure Kirk and Duhon are out celebrating the win and weekend break the right way, as I write this article...

The Bulls are 21-31 heading into All-Star break, the "Sexy" pick to win the East by many ESPN experts at the beginning of the year.... is looking more like that "Slump Buster" I brought home from Longshots a few weekends ago...

Silver Line'n... Thabo, Tyrus and Noah have all seen WAY more playing time and have been able to develop their hoop game more, than they would have be able to.... if the bulls were sitting at 36-16 and fighting for home court advantage... as bad as they've been it's hard to argue their depth when they all get healthy... Maybe we'll be able to put something together after the break and sneak up and grab that 6 seed... And Thabo, Tyrus, and Noah can play huge roles in the playoff run... I mean the Giants did beat the Pats???

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Greatest Bulls Highlight Nominee #3


Here is Phil's nominee for greatest Bulls Highlight. Jordan beats whole Knicks team and then Dunks on Patrick Ewing

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Greatest Highlight Nominee 2











This is Rip's nominee for the greatest Chicago Bulls highlight... it was by far the most entertaining sequence of events I've ever witnessed as a Chicago Bulls Fan... sure all the buzzer beaters by Mike were great... but there is just something about the Worm pissing off Western Conference Championship teams that gets my dick hard...

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Chicago Bulls Greatest Highlight Nominee


Espn is doing a the greatest highlight feature. We decided to do the same thing, but stricly Chicago Bulls highlights. Here is the first nominee. Dubbed "The Shot", this is Michael Jordan's amazing game-winning jumper over Craig Ehlo.

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Bulls Vs. Heat Tonight On TNT



The Bulls take on the new look Miami Heat tonight on TNT @ 7P.M. (Central). Bulls shot a season-high 57.3 percent in the first meeting with Miami. This is the new-look Heat, with Shawn Marion averaging 19 points and 16 rebounds in his first two games. Tyrus Thomas gets a surprising start with Ben Wallace leaving the team because of a death in the family. In their last meeting the Bulls blew out Heat 126-96 in Miami on Jan. 16.

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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Chicago Bulls Intro (Yawn)


Remember those days when Mike and the gang had their intros? That would send chills down your spine. Now the announcer for the Chicago Bulls is so unenthusiastic that it almost puts me to sleep. This is one reason why the crowd is never in the game. You can hear a pin drop in that stadium now a days. Watch the video, but make sure you are not standing up because you might fall asleep.

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Nocioni is Bale?


I have uncovered one of the greatest cover-ups of all time. Andres Nocioni is Christian Bale... Christian Bale is Andres Nocioni.... Which in turn makes Nocioni, BATMAN..... Think about the similarites... besides the obvious physical similarites, they both are intense killers, are foreign born in the 1970's... and both love to act...

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Air Nocioni


Nocioni has become one of the Bulls rare bright spots this season. Although his shooting percentage numbers accross the board are lower than last year his scoring is up, and he is becoming a legitimate scoring threat every time down the floor. His scoring increase could be attributed to him entering the prime years of his career, but this Bullsweekly.com reporter feels there is another reason for the scoring increase. Andres lost over 10 pounds this summer, to help the recovery of his plantar fasciitis injury from last season. He claimed after the summer, he was going to put this weight back on... From the looks of it he has not put the weight back on, he's down from his 235 playing weight and reports have him listed at 225. Nocioni looks much lighter on his feet, and he has been able to use this increase in quickness to penetrate to the basket. Lane penetration has been Nocioni's biggest weakness since entering the league, but this season Andres has been getting past perimeter defenders and finishing at the cup with authority. His rebounds per game are down, which may be attributed to his new found ability to run the floor.




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Jason Kidd Sent To Mavericks



Sources told ESPN.com that the Mavericks and Nets on Wednesday reached an agreement in principle on a Kidd deal after talks had seemingly stalled last week, moving the teams to brink of completing the NBA's third blockbuster deal of the month.

Although sources say that the teams are still sorting out final details, this deal was described as "imminent" by multiple sources close to the process after negotiations moved to an advanced stage Tuesday night. The deal -- salvaged from talks on a three-way trade with Portland that developed and fizzled quickly two weeks ago -- has Dallas sending 24-year-old point guard Devin Harris, veteran swingman Jerry Stackhouse, the expiring contracts of center DeSagana Diop and swingman Devean George and guard Maurice Ager to New Jersey for Kidd and forward Malik Allen.

Hey, Mavericks are you smoking crack? That is way to much for an old guard. They must want to win it now. Devin Harris is sick and will be sick as time goes on. O well, like I've said earlier, that Pau Gasol Trade triggered this all.

Source: ESPN

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Joakim Noah; Future Ben Wallace?



Joakim Noah has been turning a few head lately. I think it's time to get rid of Ben Wallace. I heard a rumor of Ben Wallace to the Knicks for Quentin Richardson, Fred Jones, and Malik Rose. I'll take it. Joakim Noah is turning into a Ben Wallace in his prime. He has more offensive potential than Ben Wallace will ever have. The future is bright for Joakim, but not for Big Ben. Like everyone else I'm sick of the dong every time Ben Wallace does something. My theory why they do the dong so much is because he hardly does anything so they try to make him feel better. Start Joakim and bench Ben Wallace. In the picture above do you see that form on the hook shot? Ben Wallace hits the top of the backboard on lay ups. I rest my case.

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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Chris Paul is Good


Chris Paul is pretty sick. I think a perfect example of this was the Hornets 100-86 thrashing of the Bulls Tuesday night at the UC. Paul went off for 25 and 14, making pretty much every defender the Bulls tried putting on him look like trash. Paul is emerging as a legitimate MVP candidate, in just his third year in the league. And just look at that smile, he seems like a guy who'd buy the first couple rounds of drinks at the bar, thinking you'd get him back, but then you never do, but he's cool with it and even though he's secretly kind of pissed, he doesn't want to start any shit so he doesn't mention anything. He's cool like that.

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Bulls On NBC


Watching this video brought back memories. The Bulls were 6-0 in the finals on NBC. The days of Marv Albert and Matt Goukas on NBC were legendary. The classic intro to NBA on NBC just gave you goosebumps across your body. Now you have NBA on ABC, and their telecasts put me to sleep. Bob Costas was just spine tingling in the pre game intro. Then you had Jordan and the Bulls come out and take a poop on the Knicks. Now if the Bulls get on ABC, the only thing that makes ABC's telecast ok to watch is Thabo's hair in High Definition.

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Aaron Gray: Sheep Herder


Aaron Gray. A tree. A semi. A Brick wall. All of those description of Aaron Gray fit him to a T. His 40 time may be 9.7 seconds, but he can set a mad screen. His sideburns are admired among teammates, and his bowl cut as well. I heard a rumor that Joakim Noah had to put a bowl on his head, and shave around the bowl to give Aaron his traditional "bowl cut" hair cut. Check the video above for an example of how big of an ox Aaron Gray really is.

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American IdolBulls


The Bulls every year have their version of American Idol. It's a good thing Simon wasn't at the UC for this one.

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Noah Translated

For those of you who are not yet familiar with Bull's rookie Joakim Noah, well, I think that this video pretty much sums it up.


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Boylan Becomes Frustrated... Drinking Ensues



After 10 losses in the Bulls last 16 games, Boylan (Pictured Above) may have finally found the only solution to all his problems... With the Bulls best 3 players missing substantial amounts of time over this 16 game stretch, Boylan has left himself no choice but to start drinking very heavily. On the brightside, Boylan now has the alcohol tolerance of Tara Reid and the All-Star break is only days away, hopefully the Bulls can re-charge their batteries and FINALLY make a strong playoff push after the weekend break.

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The Bulls Dynasty That Wasn't



The fall of Jerry Krause includes; trading Brand for Chandler, Jay Williams Motorcycle Accident, Hiring Tim Floyd. In a perfect world, and we kept all of these players that he drafted or signed, what would be the outcome? Would the Bulls have a millennium dynasty? Here would be the starting 5; Jay Williams, Jamal Crawford, Ron Artest, Elton Brand, Eddy Curry/Brad Miller. That looks like a "hood" team that would just flat out beat people up and control the game. Man the possibilities and potential of this team would of been endless. O well, we are quickly falling back to oblivion.

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Chicago Bulls Where Are They Now?


Marcus Fizer. What happened to this high draft pick? On June 20th, 2007 he signed on a two-year deal ($900,000 a year) with the European power house Maccabi Tel Aviv. After three years at Iowa State, where Fizer was a Sporting News All-America Second Team selection as a junior, he was selected with the fourth pick of the 2000 NBA Draft by the Chicago Bulls. He had a potential to be a killer, and his per 48 minutes average was around 20ppg and 10rpg. This is a typical "what if?" story.

Here is a video of Fizer killin overseas

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Ben Wallace: The Art Of A Jumpshot


My favorite go to move of any player of the Chicago Bulls, is Ben Wallace's jumpshot or fade away jumper. This movie is so reliable it's almost like a low post presence. If the Bulls need a shot and Wallace has the ball, he going to shoot his un-guardable jumper. 3% of the time it goes in and we cringe as he shoots, but yell in ecstasy when it goes in.



Another thing is when Ben Wallace gets to the free throw line, he is automatic. In automatic I mean automatic miss. The perfect example is in the video above. How can you miss so bad. When you are so swoll you usually shoot it than look like you will break the backboard. Not try to defy gravity and make the ball float to the rim.

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Monday, February 11, 2008

Zoolander 2 Starring Ben Gordon


VH1 films along with Paramount Pictures have announced that Zoolander 2 will be released in the Fall of 2009. Zoolander 2 will star the Chicago Bulls Ben Gordon, playing the industries hottest new model, fresh off of his 2008 model of the year award. Ben Zoolander the younger adopted brother of Derek Zoolander will battle the evil fashion guru Mugatu played by Will Ferrell once again. It's a well-designed conspiracy and only with the help of Hansel (Owen Wilson) and a few well-chosen accessories will Ben Zoolander be able to keep the world safe from the evil Mugatu.

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BJ Returns



The sharpshooting Bulls guard, who knocked down 297 3's in his Chicago Bulls career, is returning. After helping the Bulls to a three-peat in the early 90's... BJ has one more prize he's going to help the Bulls take home. BJ is teaming up with current Bulls guard Chris Duhon and Chicago Sky star Candice Dupree to compete in the Shooting Star Competition this coming weekend. It will take place on Saturday night, Febuary 16th at New Orleans Arena. When interviewed last week BJ was asked about the current state of his jumpshot. B.J. replied "It's wetter than Norm Van Leir at an open bar." I think it's safe to say the smart money is on Team Chicago this weekend.

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A Conversation Between Matadors

Photo Courtesy of Chicagobulls.com


The following conversation takes place one hour prior to the talented Chicago Bulls Matadors take the court for their half- time performance:


Big Willie: (sitting at his locker, crying uncontrollably with 12 Miller High Life cans crumpled at his feet)

Enter "Turkey Leg" Tom


"Turkey Leg" Tom: Will, what is the matter? Why are you crying and are you drunk?


BW: (stuttering and slurring his words) I just can't take it any more Tom. I have lost all of my confidence in the Bulls this year. And even worse, my desire to dance in front of the home town faithful is gone.


TLT: (sits down next to Willie and places his arm around him) Listen big guy, I know it has been a rough year. Nothing seems to go our way out there, but you can't give up hope.


BW:(punches his locker) GIVE UP HOPE!!!! Boylan played Adrian Griffin for 15 minutes last night, and you're telling me not to give up hope! Everything is falling apart. When the Bulls lost by 16 to the Timberwolves, I went on a one week bender filled with Jack Daniels and KFC. My wife left me man, took the kids too.

TLT: Wow, man, I'm sorry I had no idea. But let me tell you something. When the Bulls went 24-58 did we give up? When the Bulls played Luke Schenscher did we give up on them? When you broke your leg from slipping on ice outside that China Buffet did you give up on your dance career?

BW: (looks up with renewed vigor) You're goddamn right! We stick with the Bulls through thick and thin. Thanks, Turkey Leg.

TLT: (slaps Willie on the back) No problem. Now, just promise me that when we get our there tonight and you hear that first note of "Can't Touch This" you dance your ass off.

Both men, laughing, get up and walk out.


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Sunday, February 10, 2008

Thabo Time

Thabo Sefolosha's been on a tear lately, averaging 13.4 points and 6 rebounds a game in the month of February. Some might say this is because Ben Gordon and Kirk Hinrich are hurt, and he's just getting more minutes, but those people would be wrong. There's only one explanation for this: sick corn rows.

As you can see in this photo from last season, Sefolosha was sporting a very pedestrian (and sloppy) fade. Totally lame.


Notice the traditional form of the braids here, tightly pulled with perfect symmetry. By look on his face, I'd say Wolves guard Marco Jaric is in awe.

Sefolosha has now changed up the design on the braids, going for a more "hood" look. I'm not sure how hood someone from Switzerland could be, but who am I doubt him? Look for Thabo to go off with this new style. I predict 40 points and 10 rebounds Tuesday vs. New Orleans.

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Bulls Gettin Crunk

I'm not sure if Noah is actually crunk, right here or he always looks this retarded... Regardless Noah continues to board harder than Wallace on and off the court. Step your game up Big Ben... *pause for United Center's overplayed London Big Ben Ding...














Hinrich offering the ladies his infamous... "Get to know ya shot"...



Hey Duhon, leave us some white meat... fuckin A... actually you know what you keep droppin 34 and 9 you can have all the white bitches you can handle...

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Yes, Kirk Hinrich Can Dunk

There has been speculation that White Men Can't Jump for some while now. I remember Hinrich's first year in the league where he had a mop on his head that covered his eyes. This video proves that Hinrich did indeed dunk in a NBA game.


I stumbled across this video and I literally fell out of my chair. Hinrich was smashing on cats in High School. I mean he was doing Penny Hardaway dunks. Where the hell is that in the league? He is like night and day compared to these highlights. The sweetest thing about this video is Hinrich's haircut. He's had the same do since 1994, when his hair grew out to that length.

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Johnny Red Kerr Conspiracy

Is there any truth behind the recent rumors that Jonny “Red” Kerr passed away last season during a game from black lung disease cause by all the rosin powder smoke that had been clapped from Michael Jordan's hands in the 90’s directly into Red Kerr’s face and then inhaled by Red Kerr before tipoff???

The truth is Yes, Jonny had an increasingly worsening condition of Black Lung similar to those of coal miners caused by Michael Jordan, among other Bulls … Fred Tedeshi had notified the front office of the Chicago Bulls, previous to the 2007 season of Jonny Red Kerr’s condition. The Chicago Bulls executives were devastated by the news that their announcer, Red Kerr the staple voice for the Chicago Bulls Championship runs, was on his way out. Afraid that his death may occur during a game and the fear of losing TV ratings from the loss of their beloved Red Kerr, the front office arranged a body double to be on call for all of his 2007 games in case of an incident.


On March 02, 2007 he passed away from heart failure after calling this violent Tyrus Thomas block and dunk. He was replaced flawlessly during a TV Timeout by a body double, which happened to be none other than actor Jon Voight. Voight has continued to pose as the notorious Jonny Red Kerr since March of 2007 and will continue until further notice…

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